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Favorite Cliff Clavin Lines

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"As they say down at the post office, 'here's looking up your address'."

 

Norm Peterson: Looks like Cupid just shot an arrow through Carla's heart.

Cliff Clavin: When did Carla get a heart?

 

[plotting how to escape from a mad gunman holding them hostage]

Cliff Clavin: Ah, I got it. How about I sob uncontrollably and lose control of my bodily functions?

Norm Peterson: Cliff, is that a plan?

Cliff Clavin: No, actually it's more of a warning.

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